I'm halfway through the day and am struggling to keep moving. I am so angry and tired; I feel as if I have not relaxed or slept in days. We are also in the midst of a full moon and the emotions seem to be extremely heightened. I imagine this feeling as me sitting on a sinking ship, the water is just pouring in, and it won't be long before it goes down. The amount of tension I can feel on my body before sneaking in a mid-day session is unbearable. Halfway through my session, I began to notice how suddenly everything around me became completely quiet. Feeling detached from everything that was present just moments ago. Suddenly there is air around me and I can breathe again.
I knew deep down that I needed to allow myself to take a break. Instead of fighting this urge, I decided to hold off on making candles and unplugged my wax melter and made my way into the house. After some time, a sudden feeling washes over me like I am in trouble, and someone is reprimanding me for lying. I come to realize that there is a part of me that is disappointed with myself for not sticking to personal goals. This anger I have been experiencing is my body's way of telling me to do better by caring for my wellbeing. What I am referring to here is my coffee addiction. There have been numerous attempts to cut back and not consume daily. Coffee has become a comfort blanket for me, anytime I find myself down I grab a cup and indulge to lift me right back up. Except, it does not always lift me back up and shoots me in the opposite direction.
Last night as I lay there uncomfortably with heartburn and insomnia, I tried yet again to set the goal of not drinking coffee for a few days. Now here I am when it is time to take action and I find myself unable to commit to my promises. I tell myself that the weight from this comfort blanket is holding me back and very calmly reset the goal of not indulging for one entire week. I decide to communicate this with my husband as a way to hold myself accountable. Only time will tell if I stick to my words. I hope that my strength overpowers my weakness.
"Getting quiet simply means just that, to be without distraction or noise - quiet." - Brandy Goncalves
It's amazing what getting quiet can do for your wellbeing, it's a great self-care tool. The greatest thing about this tool is everyone has access to it, and it doesn't cost you any money. What does it mean to get quiet? Getting quiet simply means just that, to be without distraction or noise - quiet. Your mind may have a hard time at first, attempting to push through all the thoughts. Just remember not to get discouraged and focus on your breath, it's a great place to start. It is so easy to get distracted by one thought, before you know it you have possibly planned out the rest of your day, worried about how you will pay that bill, or even how others perceived their interactions with you earlier in the day.
I believe the hardest part about getting quiet with yourself, is having no idea of what may come up. For some, that quietness may not be so pleasant. It takes a lot of courage and strength to sit with that quietness. But only through that perseverance and following your intuition will bring the light you have been searching for. If I didn't take the time to get quiet and reconnect, I am honestly not quite sure what type of condition I would be in.
Are you having a tough time getting quiet? The good news is you do not have to just sit there on the couch staring at the wall. I promise there are way more interesting ways of shutting out all the noise. Try getting grounded and going for a walk, whether at the beach or in the middle of the woods. This I must say, is my absolute favorite. You could also listen to light, calming music or even search for a guided meditation. Whatever it is that you are into, go for it. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you.
Until the next session my friends,
xoxo,
Brandy
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