Can you recall a time when you were living fully in your power? I have glimpses here and there of living in my power. However overall, I recall living most of my life through other's expectations. By moving through life according to other's expectations, I was completely giving away all of my power. This is not a healthy way to operate, but I adapted to this method at a young age. I am realizing this is no longer working for me, and quite frankly never has. Those moments when I am able to find the strength is when I feel most empowered. The road to get there is not so peaceful, lots of agony and tears.
I remember back to a few years ago, when I was put to the test on whether to give my power away once more or reclaim it. It took my body to experience pure panic while profusely sweating on the dirty workplace bathroom floor with extreme nausea and uncontrollable sobbing to wake up and realize my life does not have to look like this. I had to make a choice, continue to allow a place of employment to let me get to this point, or choose myself and walk away. I took a few deep breaths, pulled myself together and walked into the office and stated I was never coming back. I reclaimed my power by choosing myself and knowing my worth, even though in retrospect I was left in a position with no employment.
Fast forward to the present, as I sit back and enjoy my morning session, I get this overwhelming sensation of feeling like I have extended myself far beyond capacity with overthinking and overachieving. I admit my mind is always thinking about the next step, before the first one is even taken. I am consumed with trying to balance between all the things I need to do, and all the things I want to do. Many attempts have been made to combat these bad habits. Marijuana and to-do lists are my usual go-to when I start feeling like my brain cannot withhold any more information. My mind rewinds back to the early 2000's when I used to laugh at my dad for carrying a little piece of paper in his wallet with an on-going to do list. Here we are in 2024 and I'm utilizing the same concept, except in digital form. Huge thank you to the notepad on my phone.
Now that we've addressed the overthinking, lets discuss overachieving. Visually, I now see a huge list before me of all the things that need to get done. I can't help but start breaking a sweat trying to figure out how I am going to get this all done today. Here is a secret you do not want to hear, "YOU CANNOT COMPLETE THIS ALL-IN-ONE DAY". I think I should get my hearing checked, because I usually do not hear this message and continue about my day aiming to complete everything on the list. As expected, I experience complete burnout by the end of the day. My original list only halfway complete and absolutely no time taken for me. One of the hardest parts of being an overachiever is not being able to accept that list will never end. All you can do is prioritize with the time and energy you have available. Most of us have been taught from a young age that we do not ask for help, or accept it when offered, even if we feel like the waves are consuming us, and we are left here to drown. Allowing yourself to open up and trust someone to assist you can bring up painful emotions at first, but in the end can feel so mentally freeing. After all, isn't that what most people want from life, to just feel free?
Giving into these bad habits, is sucking away so much of your power by holding you stagnant. Life will continuously throw certain lessons at you until you listen. The more you resist, the more it will persist. This current phase of life is a transitional period, where I step into who I am meant to be. I no longer wish to resist, and with that brings up extremely uncomfortable feelings. I consider this to be very ugly, yet beautiful at the same time. Breaking down the towers of foundation that was built for me and replacing them with the foundations I put together. I believe this is what it is supposed to feel like as you make your way into obtaining your own power. The voice is a very powerful tool, and with mine I choose to share and be open about these experiences for others to know and understand they are not alone. Tired of dragging your feet day to day? Reclaim your power so you can step into your greatest potential. Tap into that little voice, called your intuition and get ready to enter a fulfilling life. It won't be easy, but I can promise it will be worth it.
Until the next session my friends,
xoxo,
Brandy
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